Asians love WhatsApp groups, social media engagements, and other group activities. I suppose this is understandable; their world is dense, polluted, cramped, and jarring, and the only time they meet is through other means than personal connection.

Why is toxicity important to know?

Some of my friends are losing their grip; they feel increasingly isolated and constantly engage in social chats. The truth is that group chats are not like interpersonal chats; person-to-person connections are irreplaceable.

I do not love to chat for hours on social media or group chats, but I use these avenues to see what is happening worldwide and what sorts of chats interest them. More often than not, I found out that my friends gossip, discuss trivial things and condense themselves with meaningless stuff in their heads. Eventually, my friends, a few of whom had gotten bitter about life, became bullies, the so-called experts, or over-blown personas. Their suppressed life releases toxicity, and eventually, that toxicity unconsciously takes over everything, including that needs to be included and recognised. Ultimately, my friends fed each other toxins, making them confused, unclear, and negative. With so much mental and emotional garbage piling on the surface, it is no wonder that group chats became a new form of a mental hospital.

What do I do differently?

• I meet my friends and family in person as much as possible. Human connections are fulfilling, even during troubled times. Spending time engaging with my real friends feels more authentic and rewards me every time.
• Real friends and family, who form my tribe, consist of a few people. Outside of that circle, friends and larger family sit in the larger circle. (It is important to know who your real friends and families are!)
• When I felt like I had enough, I let my compassion run through. All of my friends had their shit to deal with, too, so I stopped reacting, judging, and commenting. Instead, I retreated, and when I felt happy and clear, I crashed their simplistic discussions by sending a joke or an illuminating post about nature, creation or spirituality (so that they realise it is a big world out there).
• I’d rather be known as the one who rarely comments than the active person. That means I am free to come and go, do and don’t do as I see fit. That is most liberating!